[Hello-Goodbye]

Sometimes I catch myself thinking that maybe I'm too happy for.. For my parents' family, being too different and perhaps not deserving to be that happy when they are not. Is it a feeling of guilt? Or if something else? No idea what it's called in psychology but there must be no place for it in my life.

I'm feeling quite over the moon now: I left home quite early to work, I was paid twice more than I expected, I bought a t-short I dreamt of, I ate hummus and falafel, I went to my driving lessons and I did better than before, my driving instructor bought some coffee for me and I went on some really difficult roads. Im also reading an interesting book in english (finally! I couldn't find one that would capture my attention so much), and I'm getting some free (insurance) treatment for my neck these days.

Also I have concentrated on good, valuable friends, sound relationship and stopped thinking about arseholes. Everything's got to a balance. A real calming balance.

I still have to do editing and I'm really looking forward to getting home and getting down to working.

Everything is perfect apart from this feeling that I cannot (= not allowed) to be happy. Sorry, what? I deserve happiness.